Dulce Et Decorum
by starrysky7
Summary: After facing the Chitauri Invasion, Clara can't imagine there's anything she can't handle. But now, she's faced with the betrayal of everything she's fought for her entire life, and with some of the hardest decisions she will ever have to make.
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: Everything belongs to its rightful owners**

* * *

 _"Dulce et decorum est pro patria mori"_

 _"It is sweet and right to die for your country"_

 _Wilfred Owen_

* * *

 **Chapter One**

It had been two years since the Battle of New York, and little had changed in Clara's day-to-day life. She continued her work as a SHIELD agent, but now she took more time off; more trips to see Tessa and the kids, dinners with her sons, and even sometimes holidays to LA to visit Tony. Her relationships with her children, and her pseudo step-child of sorts, had only gotten better since the whole alien fiasco.

Things in her work life had also changed. Fury was placing an ever increasing amount of trust in her, relying on her more heavily for advice and counsel. He trusted in her loyalty to SHIELD, and in her loyalty to him.

Currently, she was taking some time off in between missions, to spend time with her family, which had seen some new additions recently.

"Thomas is gonna drop by tomorrow, after he picks Charlotte up from her mom's" Tessa told her, taking the seat opposite her at the dinner table, "And Will called. Him and Evie have arrived in Paris, seems like their honeymoon's gone off without a hitch. 'Cept for the fact he keeps interrupting their time together to tell us where they are"

"He's being safe" defended Clara

"You spy's and your 'safety'" said Tessa, using her fingers for quotation marks, "You're all paranoid"

Clara bit her tongue, refraining from pointing out the multiple reasons she had to be paranoid. The most obvious one being her profession.

"Nanna, look at my drawing" said Noah, running up to her side,

"Ah, it's very good" she said, taking the drawing from his hands, "I love how you made the truck red"

"It's a fire truck" he proudly announced

"A fire truck, wow, and are there firefighters on this fire truck?" She asked, and he nodded his head, "And does it have a Dalmatian? Because, you know, there's always a Dalmatian at the firehouse"

"Why?" He asked

"I don't know, you'll have to ask your daddy" she said, "Do you want to be a firefighter like him?"

"Yes" he said, fervently nodding his head

The phone in Clara's pocket began buzzing, she looked down to see that it was Fury who was calling her. She looked up apologetically at Tessa, who nodded in understanding.

"C'mon Noah, let's go put your drawing on the fridge" said Tessa, taking her son's hand, and leading him into the kitchen

"Hello" she said into the phone, standing up, and turning her back on the table

" _Clara, I need you back in DC_ " said Fury, " _Trojan Horse level_ "

Her heart hammered against her ribs. SHIELD was compromised.

She had always believed their plans to be just their paranoia taking over them. Never did she imagine the circumstances would ever actually occur.

"I'll be there in four hours, possibly three" she replied

" _The Captain will have all the information you'll need_ " he told her. The USB. Steve had the USB from the Lemurian Star. Or will have it shortly.

"Okay. Stay safe"

" _You too_ "

Clara put the phone down on to the table, placing her hands on it, leaning against them. She closed her eyes, and steadied her breathing. Now was not the time for fear. Now was the time for action.

"Mom" said Tessa, and Clara looked up at her daughter, "It's bad, isn't it?"

"You have to go underground" Clara instructed her, "Call your brothers, then go upstairs and pack bags for a few days. You know what to do" she said, before calling out for her son-in-law.

"Is something wrong?" Pyotr asked her

"SHIELD's compromised, you all might be in danger" she told him, and his expression hardened, and she could see the remnants of his old life, the spy still buried inside of him

"I'll go start getting things ready" he said, before walking out of the room

"Great, now I'll have to put up with a goddam gun underneath his pillow for the next few years" said Tessa, but her attempt at humour failed to hide how shook up she really was

"It'll be okay, I'll make contact when it's safe" she told her

"How are you not terrified?" Tessa asked her, "Because I'm freaking out. That's normal right, to be scared, it's a normal reaction?"

"Incredibly so" said Clara, pulling her daughter into a hug, "I have to go now, say goodbye to the kids for me"

"Stay safe mom, please" Tessa said, a pleading edge to her voice

"Of course" she said, "I love you"

"Love you too mom"

* * *

Clara was sure that she'd broken just about every speed limit on her way back to DC, and had spent all of that time going over every possibility as to how SHIELD had been compromised, each more absurd then the next.

Whilst on route, she'd gotten a call from Maria, and was now arriving at the hospital. She was surprised she'd even remembered to turn off the car, as she tore off inside, meeting up with Natasha at the entrance. The pair of them didn't speak, as Clara followed her into the viewing room.

"Is he gonna make it?" Asked Natasha, moving to stand in between Steve and Maria by the glass

"I dunno" said Steve, looking down at Clara, as she joined his side, her eyes glued to the glass, watching intently as the doctors worked away on Nick

"Tell me about the shooter" Natasha demanded

"He's fast, strong" said Steve, "Had a metal arm"

Clara's eyes flickered up to him in shock. It couldn't be. It had to be someone else. The Winter Soldier didn't exist. Or, at least, that was what she tried to tell herself for so many years. But she saw him. If might've been from afar, but a metal arm is not a characteristic easily forgotten. Especially given the circumstance in which she saw it.

"Ballistics?" Asked Natasha

"Three slugs, no riflling and completely untraceable" said Maria

"Soviet made?" Asked Natasha

"Yeah"

Just then, Nick's heart rate began to rapidly drop, until all she could hear was the sound of him flatlining. The sound of him dying, as the doctors made their attempts to restart his heart.

"No" she muttered, "Oh God"

Clara turned away from the glass, leaning her forehead against Steve's shoulder. He turned towards her, wrapping his arms around her, rubbing her back soothingly. The doctors stopped their resuscitation attempts, and called it.

Nick Fury was dead.

* * *

"We can, go and see him now" Maria told them, but Clara shook her head. She didn't want to remember Nick as just another dead body

"No, I, I can't, I just, need some time" she stammered, avoiding Steve's intent gaze, backing away towards the door, "I have to, go to the bathroom"

All of her next actions were done without her complete mental presence, and took far more time then was necessary. It was like she was watching herself, watching as she went to the toilet. After washing her hands in the basin, she looked up into the mirror. Her appearance hadn't changed much from that of a few hours ago, apart from looking a little run down, which was to be expected considering she hadn't slept since yesterday. Although, sleep remained a commodity that continued to evade her.

Nick Fury was dead.

Her friend, her boss, was dead. And SHIELD was compromised. Boy, had her life changed irrevocably in the past few hours.

So she took one last look in the mirror, fixing herself up, before stepping outside. She needed to keep going. Now was not the time to fall apart. That could come later.

She stopped in her tracks, as she saw the two agents standing on each side of the restroom door.

"What are you two doing?" She asked them

"We've been assigned to protect you" one of them told her, "Since Director Fury was killed, you could be a target"

"I feel safer already" she muttered, before striding off, Tweedle Dum and Tweedle Dee following behind her

She stopped in front of the room where Fury's body was being held. A part of her wanted to go in, to say goodbye. But another part didn't. Because saying goodbye would make it real. It would mean that Nick was really dead. That he hadn't faked it.

The glass of the closed door provided Clara with a reflection of the vending machine behind her, where a USB was nestled behind packets of chewing gum on the top row. And she thought, that Steve was both incredibly resourceful, and awfully lackluster in his ability to plan ahead.

The two agents were still watching over them, and Clara knew that it was time to get rid of them. But seeing as she didn't know how complacent they were in this whole operation, she would do it as gently as possible.

She continued walking around the hospital, until she found a hallway that was completely empty, which was not too difficult given that it was early in the morning. The first obstacle, was the security camera. Even if SHIELD wasn't looking in, she was sure the hospital staff wouldn't be too accommodating to her assaulting two people in their hallway.

Clara splayed out her fingers, causing the security camera to explode. The agents looked up, and she took advantage of their momentary loss of view, to turn around, kicking the gun out from the first agents hand. He closed his fist, and made an attempt to punch her, but she dodged it. She grabbed onto his arm, backing up against his chest, delivering a swift blow to the face with her elbow, before throwing him down to the ground.

The second agent aimed his gun at her, now that his partner was out of the way, but she flicked her wrist, sending the gun flying. He then drew his knife and advanced on her. She dodged his swing, grabbing onto his upper arm and wrist, forcing them in opposite directions. He let out a cry of pain, as his bones cracked, the knife falling from his grip. She grabbed ahold of the back of his neck, forcing his body downwards, his chest colliding with her bent knee. The agent groaned, but was still conscious, so she banged his head into the wall, just hard enough to knock him out.

"What the hell happened here?" She heard Natasha say, looking up to see her standing at the entrance

"They were following me, it was a bit suspicious" said Clara, grabbing onto the feet of one of the agents, "I'll hide them. There's a vending machine just outside the viewing room, inside will be a USB, get it"

"The one from the Lemurian Star?" Asked Natasha, "What's on it?"

"I don't know, but it's important" she said, "And Steve did an incredibly shitty job of hiding it. I would have gotten it myself, but Tweedle Dumb and Tweedle Dee here didn't give me much of a chance to do it covertly"

"Gotcha"

After hiding the two unconscious agents in the cupboard, locking them inside, she quickly, but calmly, walked back to the viewing room. Just as she turned the corner, she saw Steve grab Natasha, and pull her into one of the rooms. She quickened her pace, listening in to their conversation.

"Where is it?" Asked Steve

"Safe" replied Natasha

"Do better"

"Where did you get it?" Asked Natasha, before realisation dawned on her face, "Fury gave it to you, why?"

"What's on it?"

"I dunno" said Natasha

"Stop lying"

"I only act like I know everything, Rogers"

Clara quickly slid into the room, shutting the door behind her and flicking the lock. Steve stepped away from Natasha, to shoot her mistrustful look.

"Did you know Fury hired the Pirates?" Steve asked them both

"I was the one that suggested it, actually" said Clara, and Steve's glare intensified, "In casual conversation, and then Fury took the idea and ran with it, worked out the kinks, put it into action"

"Why?" He asked indignantly

"The ship was dirty" Clara shrugged, "Fury needed a way in to get the information. I'm not sure what it is exactly, but it has something to do with Project Insight. That, I learned after the fact. I never would've suggested any course of action had I known it was to do with Project Insight"

Steve was looking at her disdainfully, but seemed satisfied enough with her answer. Though he was far from pleased about her revelation.

"I know who killed Fury" said Natasha, pulling them out of their staring contest,

"You recognised it too" said Clara, taking a few steps forward, "He's called The Winter Soldier, though most people don't think he exists"

"He's accredited with over two dozen assassinations in the last fifty years" said Natasha

"So, he's a ghost story" said Steve

"Five years ago, I was escorting a nuclear engineer out of Iran. Somebody shot out my tires near Odessa, we lost control, went straight over a cliff, I pulled us out" said Natasha, "But The Winter Soldier was there, I was covering my engineer, so he shot him, straight through me"

Natasha lifted up her shirt, to reveal a bullet scar, "Soviet slug, no rifling, bye bye bikinis"

"Yeah, I bet you look terrible in them now" said Steve, causing Natasha's lips to quiver into a grin, before turning to Clara, "I'm guessing you have your own story"

"In 73, I was sent to Russia to take out a KGB agent. Instead I...we" she tried to explain, taking a deep breath, wanting to approach the topic in the gentlest way she could, "We...went rogue together. He'd been tracking the activity of the Winter Soldier, and, I guess that made him a threat" she said, "Because after only a week on the run, the Winter Soldier tracked us down, and shot him. He died, right in front of me"

That whole explanation was a vast understatement of what had actually occurred. But she didn't really want to relate to them the whole story of how she fell in love with the man she'd been assigned to assassinate, or how she cried over his dead body. She'd made a different call, that had gotten him killed, and she'd almost gone with him.

"He didn't shoot you?" Asked Steve, his eyes softening, recognizing her loss

"Guess he didn't find it necessary, even though I saw" said Clara, "I wasn't his mission. So, I lived, and Alexander didn't"

"Going after him's a dead end. I know I've tried" said Natasha, bringing them back on topic. Clara had already told her the full story, and Natasha knew it was a sore point with her. She pulled the USB out of her pocket, before continuing "Like you said, he's a ghost story"

"Then let's find out what the ghost wants" said Steve, taking the USB out of Natasha's hand

* * *

 **n**


	2. Chapter 2

**Disclaimer: Everything belongs to its rightful owners**

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 _"_ _Man is not what he thinks he is, he is what he hides."_

 _Andre Malraux_

* * *

 **Chapter Two**

Since leaving the hospital, the three of them had changed clothes, Clara having some of hers in the car, along with various SHIELD technology and some cash in case of emergency. Her clothes were practical, filled with pockets and other places to hide weapons and gadgets.

The three of them were now making their way through a mall, to an Apple Store, in hopes of finding out the content of the USB. Steve was not as adept as either her or Natasha, at blending in. His body was too stiff, too on edge. Paranoia was seeping from his pores. He hadn't learnt to internalize his emotions quite like they had, though, he was well on his way.

Clara was scanning every person that walked past them, every shop-goer, every employee. All while keeping a calm face, collected body language, steady heartbeat and breathing. It was what she had been trained to do.

"The drive has a level six homing program" said Natasha standing in front of the computer, Clara was leaning against the bench next to her, watching out for the appearance of any SHIELD agents, "So, as soon as we boot up, SHIELD will now exactly where we are"

"How much time will we have?" Asked Steve

"About, nine minutes from..." She said, plugging the USB into the computer, "Now"

"Fury was right about the ship, somebody's tryna hide something" said Natasha, "This drive is protected by some kind of AI, it keeps rewriting itself to counter my commands"

"Can you override it?" Asked Steve

"The person who created this is slightly smarter then me" said Natasha, "Slightly"

"I'm gonna try a tracer" said Natasha, "This is a software SHIELD designed to track hostile malware, so, if we can't read the file, maybe we can find out where it came from"

"Can I help you guys with anything?" Asked one of the assistants

"Oh no" said Natasha, putting on the sweetest voice she could muster, "My fiancé was just helping me with some honeymoon destinations"

"Right" said Steve, not in quite the convincing tone as Natasha, "We're getting married"

Clara began to smirk, keeping her eyes on the entrance but her ears listening to the conversation next to her. She knew how terrible of a liar Steve was, she just hoped he could pull this off.

"Congratulations" said the assistant, "Where you guys thinking about going?"

"Uh" said Steve, looking down at the computer, "New Jersey"

Clara stifled her laugh, keeping her facial expression controlled as to not give them away. But what he said was just absurd. Not that she really expected Steve to have a wealth of knowledge in regards to the popular honeymoon destinations of modern times. Or past times for that matter.

The assistant stared at Steve intently, furrowing his brow, trying to figure something out. Steve's eyes widening as he thought that they'd been found out. Glasses, after all, we're not the best disguise. Clark Kenting rarely worked in real life.

"I have the exact same glasses" said the assistant,

"Wow, you two are practically twins" dead panned Natasha, as she continued to click away

"Yeah, I wish, specimen" said the assistant, gesturing to Steve's body, causing Steve to shrink inward, shying away, "If you guys need anything, I've been errand"

Clara would have found the situation funny, had it not been for Steve's body language, and her knowledge of him. She knew that Steve hadnt been comfortable with his self pre-serum, and that even after he became Captain America, underneath it all, he was still scrawny Steve Rogers. Being the pinnacle of human perfection did nothing to stop Steve's self deprecating nature.

"Thank you" mumbled Steve, as the assistant walked away

"Steve ignored her comment, instead looking down at his watch, "You said nine minutes, come on"

"Relax" urged Natasha, sounding as if she was a yoga instructor, "Got it"

Clara pushed her elbows off of the table, straightening up as she looked at the screen. Steve's eyes widened, as realization crossed his face. She frowned, not knowing what he'd just figured out.

"You know it?" Natasha asked Steve, her eyes scanning his face

"I used to" said Steve, "Come on, let's go"

Natasha pulled the drive out of the computer, and the three of them strode out of the store. So far, Clara hadn't seen any SHIELD agents, but knew it was only a matter of time before they made an appearance.

"They'll be here by now" she said, "We need to get out of here without causing a scene"

"And how do we do that exactly?" Asked Steve,

"You two go ahead and get out" said Clara, "Find a car, I'll meet you out front"

"And what are you gonna do?" Asked Steve, his expression softening with concern

"Create a distraction" she shrugged, grinning at Steve before heading off in the opposite direction of the exit

Clara had found herself at a cafe, next to the fire exit, taking a seat, she opened up the magazine from the stack in front of her face. But she didn't read a single word. Instead, her eyes flew around the room, constantly searching for SHIELD agents. When she spotted them, she flicked out her fingers, causing the glass of the shop window beside them to shatter. The civilians around them screamed, all looking around to find what had caused it. She used this chaos to move through the crowd towards the fire exit. Just before she reached the door, she flicked her fingers down, bringing the handle of the fire alarm down with them, the alarm going off, causing even more chaos to outbreak.

By the time Clara made it to the front of the mall, Steve and Natasha were waiting in a car for her. She didn't question how they had attained it, just climbed in the back seat, and told Steve to step on the gas.

Clara was on edge for much of the trip, constantly thinking over the ways that SHIELD could be tracking them. Even after hours from the incident in the mall, she couldn't shake off her fears.

"I'm going to take a little nap" she announced, lying her back on the door, her legs outstretched on the seats next to her, "Might as well try"

Steve nodded, and Clara closed her eyes, trying to push away her concerns, and allow sleep to take over. But her attempt was futile, when Natasha spoke up, peaking Clara's interest.

"Where did Captain America learn to steal a car?" Asked Natasha

"Nazi Germany" he replied, "And we're borrowing, take your feet off the dash"

"Okay, I have a question to ask you" said Natasha, "Which you do not have to answer, but, I feel like if you don't answer it, you're kinda answering it"

"What?" Asked Steve

"Was that your fist kiss since 1945?" Asked Natasha

Clara ears spiked up, and she began listening more intently to their conversation. _When did they kiss?,_ she asked herself, wondering what events had transpired that lead to them locking lips. Ignoring the feelings bubbling away inside her. After all, she could barely call Steve a friend at the moment, progression to anything else was unlikely.

"That bad, huh?" Asked Steve, and Clara could practically hear his insecurity dripping from his voice

"I didn't say that" defended Natasha, but the attempt wasn't very convincing

"Well, it kinda sounds like that's what you're saying"

"No, I didn't, I just, wondered, how much practice you'd had" said Natasha

"You don't need practice" said Steve

"Everybody needs practice" said Natasha

"It was not my first kiss since 1945" he exclaimed, "I'm 95, not dead"

 _Who had Steve been kissing_?, she wondered. Steve was a honest person, brutally and inherently so, but she couldn't help but think he might have been telling a fib. Or, at least, that's what she told herself.

"So, nobody special, though?" Asked Natasha

"Huh, believe it or not, it's kinda hard to find someone with shared life experiences" he scoffed

"Well, that's alright, you just make something up" she countered

"What, like you?" Steve asked

"I dunno, the truth is a matter of circumstance" Natasha explained, "It's not all things, to all people, all the time. And neither am I"

"That's a tough way to live" said Steve

"It's a good way not to die though"

Clara strained to keep her face expressionless, as to not give away her state of consciousness. She understood how Natasha felt, probably better then most. Few people knew everything about her, she knew what it was like, to put on a facade, play a certain part around certain people. Trust was hard to come by. Hard to give, and just as hard to receive. Especially when you were in the business of lies, as they both were.

"You know" said Steve, "It's kinda hard to trust someone when you don't know who that someone really is"

"Yeah. Who do you want me to be?"

"How 'bout a friend?" Steve suggested

"Huh" said Natasha, "Well, there's a chance you might be in the wrong business Rogers"

A moment of silence passed before Natasha spoke again, "What happened between you two?" she asked him, "One minute, you're practically about to start dating, the next you barely even speak to her"

Clara's body stiffened, she could feel her body aching for sleep, but she fought off exhaustion. She needed to hear where this conversation was going.

"She wasn't being truthful" explained Steve, not at all denying what Natasha was implying about their relationship status

"About what?"

"Her past, SHIELD, lots of things" said Steve, "She's, just a lot different then when I knew her"

"Well, yeah, of course she is" said Natasha, and Clara had to stop the smile coming to her face as she heard her friend defending her, "Seventy years have passed for her, you didn't expect she would have changed in all that time"

"Not as much as she did"

With the dejection she was now feeling, sleep was all that she wanted. She knew that Steve has issues with her, and she wanted nothing more than to fix things between them. But to hear it, first hand, was different then knowing, far more difficult to face. Or in this case, hear.

* * *

 **Short chapter, but the next ones long. Hope you enjoyed it, I'd love to hear from you.**


	3. Chapter 3

**Disclaimer: Everything belongs to its rightful owners**

 **Since the last chapter was short, I decided to give you another.**

* * *

 _"We are products of our past, but we don't have to be prisoners of it."_

 _Rick Warren_

* * *

 **Chapter Three**

Her sleep was filled with mundane dreams she'd never remember when she would wake, which was a blessing for her. She was pulled from the best sleep she'd had in awhile, by the feeling of a hand shaking her shoulder.

"Come on" she heard Steve say, as she opened her eyes, "We're here"

Clara nodded, as she pulled herself up, sliding over and slipping out of the door Steve was holding open for her. Rethinking the quality of sleep, when she kinked her aching neck, stretching out her sore limbs. Sleeping in the backseat of a car is definitely not the comfiest of positions, and she'd much rather a soft and warm bed. But, she was sure that desire wouldn't be fulfilled anytime soon.

They had arrived outside an old army base, that, by the looks of things, hadn't been used in a long time. It was then, when she saw the sign, covered in dirt and barely hanging on to the fence, that she knew where they were. And the significance of the location.

"Is this it?" Asked Steve, as the three of them neared the gate, her eyes trained on his face, that had it's usual pensive expression. She wished that it hadn't become usual. Steve used to be happier.

"The file came from these co-ordinates" said Natasha

"So did I"

As they walked around inside, she kept glancing back at Steve, checking his reactions. Gauging his response. Making sure he was okay.

"This camp was where I was trained" said Steve

"Change much" asked Natasha, holding up the tablet in the air as they walked

"A little" said Steve, stopping in his tracks, to stare through the dark, at a rusty old flag pole

Pyschology degree, and knowing him for years, aside, it was plain to see that in that moment, and a lot of moments prior, Steve was stuck between the past and the present. Between what had once been, and what is. Though, Clara had a sneaking suspicion, that Steve had no idea about the latter. And, the sad fact was, this dilapidated army base, was probably one of the most familiar places to him.

She whispered out his name, much in the way she would to her children when they were young and in need of comfort, reaching over his shield, to place her hand on his upper arm. Her touch was light, but drew his attention, pulling him out of his retrospective daydreams, and back to reality. The smile she offered was both reassuring, and pensive. Offering him an understanding he couldn't get from others. Offering him sympathy, without pity, but with instead, acceptance and reassurance.

"Well, this is a dead end" said Natasha, "Zero heat signatures, zero radio waves. Whoever wrote the file, used a router to through people off"

But Clara shook her head, ever so slightly. If the location was a router, then the person must have wanted to play a sick joke on whoever went looking. Irony and coincidences rarely occurred in the world of espionage. Things were usually perfectly planned, orchestrated, by some man behind a curtain.

Steve, who seemed to be contemplating a similar train of thought to her, narrowed his eyes in on a building across from them, the specifics of it unknown to either Clara or Natasha. But it appeared to be a simple storage facility, nothing of great importance. Though, of course, things are never what they appear to be.

"What?" Natasha asked him, as Steve started moving towards it, Clara's hand dropping back down to her side

"Army regulations forbid storing ammunitions within 500 yards of the barracks" said Steve, causing Clara's eyebrow to raise. Of course Steve would know something like that. "This building's in the wrong place"

Clara and Natasha soon caught up to him, and they all slowed down as they neared the building. Clara, seeing the bolt on the door, reached out her hand, closing her fist before pulling her arm back. The door flew off its hinges, flying a few feet back behind them, landing on the ground.

It was dark as they walked down the steps, the hand railing she used to guide herself was probably not exceedingly sanitary. As they reached the bottom, Clara walked over to the lights, flicking them on, to reveal the room to be filled with desks, the SHIELD insignia painted on the back wall.

"It's SHIELD" said Natasha

"Maybe where it started" suggested Steve, before turning to her, "Did you know about this?"

"No" she said, but Steve's expression told her that he didn't believe her, or at the very least, was second guessing if what she was telling him was the complete truth. "I didn't become a SHIELD agent until the 70's, and Howard and I divorced not long after SHIELD was created" she explained, tilting her head as she looked at him, her eyes wide, and for once, she allowed her face to express just how hurt she was by the mistrust

Steve's face fell, his shoulders hunching over, watching Clara intently as she moved towards the desks, before turning his head away. She knew he had ample reason to be mistrustful of her, but that didn't lessen the blow. In fact, it only made her feel worse, considering Steve had, once upon a time, trusted her immensely. And, even though she'd place her utmost trust in him, she'd never expect, nor advise, him to do the same with her.

The desks in the room each still had a chair by them, but they were covered in dust, clearly unused for many years. It looked almost like everyone has gone home for the day, and just never came back. She looked up as Steve opened a door at the side of the room, looking towards Natasha, who was giving her a concerned look, before following him inside.

Clara hesitated when she saw the picture of Howard hanging up on the wall, beside ones of Peggy and Colonel Phillips, all lopsided, not in a straight line, imperfect. The familiar feeling of being stabbed in the gut came over her, quite like what she felt whenever she looked at Tony for awhile, but thankfully, that feeling had disappeared as they became closer. This, walk down memory lane, was far from pleasant, and felt more like having her heart ripped out a million times over.

"There's Stark's father" said Natasha

"Howard" said Steve

"Who's the girl?" Asked Natasha, nodding towards the picture of Peggy

Steve looked at her, but said nothing, instead he turned around and kept walking. Natasha looked to Clara, but she just shook her head. She wasn't in the mood to explain people from her past, and it seemed like, neither was Steve.

Clara followed Steve down the aisle, watching, from a distance, as he stopped at a shelf, inspecting it.

"If you're already working in a secret office" he said, grabbing onto the shelf and pulling it over, "Why do you need to hide the elevator?"

"Wow, SHIELD's been sly bastards right from the start" said Clara, as they walked down the dark hallway

Natasha scanned the keypad for fingerprints, and when she found the right ones, she punched in the code. The doors opened, to reveal a rather basic looking elevator, but too modern for the setting of the office.

"I'm sorry, for accusing you," Steve said to her, as the walked inside the small elevator

"It's fine" she muttered, and she could tell Steve was about to object, "Really, water under the bridge"

Steve said no more, his eyes flicking towards her every so often, whilst hers were glued on the door in front, silence falling over them, as they continued their descent. Natasha stood awkwardly in the middle of them, eyeing the pair off, trying to catch Clara's attention, but she was not willing to give it.

Things had gotten better between her and Steve after New York. But throw in a few missions, some secrets, and their tentative friendship crumpled under the weight of reality. And the reality was, the past was gone, and neither of them could go back, not matter how much they may want to, and that, in all reflective truth, neither of them were exactly coping with the events of the past seventy years.

The elevator let out a ding, as it reached the bottom, the doors opening. The three of them stepped out of the elevator, it's doors closing behind them, walking out into the dark room.

"Are the lights gonna come on, or will I just have to stumble through the dark like I've had a few tequilas?" She asked, as they walked over grates towards the middle of the room, the lights of the room systematically turning themselves on, "Thank you"

Clara looked around the room, stepping up to the platform, at what looked to be somewhat similar to the first computer.

"This can't be the data point" said Natasha, as they stepped up to the platform, "This technology's ancient"

"I remember when this technology was modern" Clara pointed out, "Actually, I remember when this technology was unimaginable...God, I'm old"

Natasha frowned as she noticed what looked like a USB point, next to the screens. It was in stark comparison with the state of the computers, covered in dust, whilst the USB point was shiny and new, most definitely a recent edition to the room. Natasha hesitated, before pulling out the USB and inserting it. The computers started to light up, the reels beginning to spin, and the camera springing to life.

"Initiate system" said the computer, the words coming up on the screen

"Y-E-S, spells yes" said Natasha, as she typed it into the computer, "Shall we play a game" she growled jokingly, before turning to Steve to explain the reference, "Its from a movie, that was really popular"

"I know, I saw it" said Steve, and both Clara and Natasha grinned at him, but their smiles fell, when the computer spoke

"Rogers, Steven, born 1918" said the computer, a face begginning to appear on the screen, the camera turning towards each of them, and Clara tensed, when she recognised the image, "Howards, Clara, born 1921. Romanoff, Natalia Alianova, born 1984"

It was Zola. The man that had experimentated on Bucky when he'd been held captive. The man, who by means of causation, was directly responsible for the death of her husband.

Her fists instinctively clenched, her knuckles turning white, as she held in her anger, pushing down the power inside her just waiting to be unleashed. Now was not the time. Zola had information they needed. But after he gave it to them. Well, he was free game as far as she was concerned.

"It's some kind of recording" said Natasha

"I am not a recording fräulein" said the computer, "I may not be the man I was when the Captain took me prisoner in 1945, but I am"

"You know this thing?" Natasha asked Steve, her eyes widening

"Arnim Zola was a German scientist who worked for the Red Skull" explained Steve, the now usual frown on his face, as he walked off the platform, and around to the back of the screens, "He's been dead for years"

"First correction, I am Swiss" said Zola, "Second, look around you, I have never been more alive. In 1972, I received a terminal diagnosis. Science couldn't save my body, my mind however, that was worth saving, on two hundred feet of data banks. You are standing in my brain"

"That's, incredibly creepy" muttered Clara, as Steve stepped back up to the platform

"How did you get here?" He asked

"Invited" he said, and it clicked in her mind

"It was Operation Paperclip" said Clara, frowning at Steve, "SHIELD recruited German scientists, they thought it would hold strategic value. I wasn't involved directly, so I don't know too much about it. No more then what I was told me" she explained, before muttering, "And I certainly wouldn't have supported it if I knew it was _him_ that were recruiting"

"They thought I could help their cause" said a smug Zola, "I also helped my own"

"Hydra died with the Red Skull" said Steve,

"Cut off one head, two more shall take its place" said Zola, the Hydra symbol appearing on the screen, splitting into two

"Prove it" said Steve, and Clara couldn't help but think he would probably regret that later

"Accessing archive" said Zola, as pictures began to appear on the screen, most of them were images of the war, "Hydra was founded on the belief that humans couldn't be trusted with their own freedom. What we did not realise, was that if you try to take that freedom, they resist"

"Shocker" muttered Clara, crossing her arms, raising her eyebrow

"The war taught us much, humanity needed to surrender its freedom willingly" said Zola, "After the war, SHIELD was founded, and I was recruited. The new Hydra grew, a beautiful parasite, inside SHIELD. For seventy years, Hydra has secretly been feeding crisis, reaping war. And when history did not co-operate, history was changed"

Images of recent events came up on the screen, along with one of a far off figure, but Clara recognised the metal arm. Her chest began to heave, her breathing heavy, as she dropped her arms to her side. This was insane. Hydra was gone. It had to be.

"That's impossible" said Natasha, "SHIELD would've stopped you"

"Accidents will happen" said Zola, as a newspaper article on Howard's death appeared on the screen, followed by an image of Fury

"No" she whispered, snapping her head away from the screens, bracing herself against the desk.

Howard had died in a car crash. She knew it. She'd seen the reports, demanded to read them, against all other advice and her own better judgement. She'd needed to know. But what if Zola was right. SHIELD, no Hydra, could've fabricated the reports, spun a tale of lies, a skill she knew both organisations excelled at. Then SHIELD killed him. The organization he founded, that she had poured her life into, had killed him.

"We created a world so chaotic, that humanity is finally ready to sacrifice its freedom, to gain its security" said Zola, as images of Project Insight began to show on the screen, "Once the purifications process is complete, Hydra's new world order will arise. We won, Captain, your death amounts to, the same as your life, a zero sum"

Zola was cut off, as Steve smashed his fist into the screen, straight ingo Zola's viciously smug face, causing the glass to shatter. Upon the sound, Clara finally looked up, to see Steve practically shaking with fury, and the normally calm and collected Natasha looking anything but.

"As I was saying" said Zola, his face appearing on another screen,

"What's on this drive?" demanded Steve

"Project Insight, recquired insight" answered Zola, "So, I wrote an algorithm"

"What kind of algorithm?" Asked Natasha, "What does it do?"

"The answer to your question is fascinating, unfortunately, you shall be too dead to hear it" said Zola, and Clara's mouth dropped open, her chest heaving, pulse racing. If she had to die, it wouldn't be in the same room as Arnim Zola.

Metal doors slammed shut in front of the elevator, cutting off their only exit. Steve threw his shield at them, but it was too late. They were trapped.

"Steve, we got a bogey" said Natasha, looking down at the tablet, "Short range ballistics, thirty seconds tops"

"Who fired it?" Asked Steve

"SHIELD"

"I am afraid I have been stalling, Captain" said Zola, as Natasha grabbed the USB, "Admit it, Captain, it is better this way" he said, as Steve pulled open the grate, "We are both, out of time"

"Speak for yourself" said Clara, as she jumped down into the open grate

Natasha and Steve both jumped in after her, just as the explosions started. Steve held his shield above him and Natasha, as things around them started to blow up, debris flying through the air.

Clara was only partly covered by the shield, and thus, left herself vulnerable to falling cement. She lifted her hands up, her mind focusing on the objects around her. A rock flew in her direction, but not only did it stop, it was sent flying backwards. She closed her eyes, putting all her energy into keeping up a telekenetic barrier around her.

It worked for awhile, but as her mind began to tire, objects began to get past the barrier. She could feel her body weaken, as she used all her energy just trying to keep out the large objects, letting the smaller ones through, diverting them around her.

When the explosions stopped, Clara outstretched her arms, pushing the cement away, helped along by Steve. After their path had been cleared, Steve helped her out of the grate, before picking up an unconscious Natasha in his arms.

"We've gotta go" Clara told him, spotting the Quinjet not far off

The pair of them starting running, Clara forcing her tired legs to keep going. They finally stopped when they reached a parking lot, Clara telekenitically flicking open the lock of one of the cars. Steve opened the back door, laying Natasha on the back seat.

As Steve turned around, Clara could feel the exhaustion taking over. She pushed herself to her limits, and now she was paying for it. She stumbled, and her last sight, was Steve rushing over to her, before she started falling, and everything went dark.

* * *

 **Hope you enjoyed it, and I'd love to hear what you think.**

 **IMPORTANT: I'd love for you all to check out my story A Series of Occurences, which are a series of one shots featuring Clara. You can find it on my profile.**


	4. Chapter 4

**Disclaimer: Everything belongs to its rightful owners**

* * *

 _"How we need another soul to cling to, another body to keep us warm. To rest and trust; to give your soul in confidence: I need this, I need someone to pour myself into."_

 _Sylvia Plath_

* * *

 **Chapter Four**

Clara's whole body was aching as she came to, her vision clearing, as she turned to see Steve sitting on a chair, beside the bed she was laying on, in a bedroom. The last thing she remembered was breaking into a car. How had they ended up in a house? Whose house had they ended up in?

"Steve" she muttered, sitting up, "Where are we?"

"In a friends house, we're safe" he said, moving over to sit beside her, his hand going to her shoulder, to ease her up, "How are you feeling?"

"Physically or emotionally?" She asked, moving to lean against the head board, pulling her knees up to her chest, "Though the answer for both of them is pre-e-e-tty terrible" she said, taking a deep breath, her hands rubbing against her knees

"You can talk to me" said Steve, awkwardly reaching up to pat her hand, "If you want"

In normal circumstances, Clara would've laughed at Steve's awkward attempts at comforting her, but thanked him for the attempt anyway. But, this was far from normal circumstances, and laughter and smiles were something she couldn't manage at the moment. Not with all she had just found out. Not with what she was thinking and feeling.

"I thought, SHIELD. I thought they were the good guys. I thought I was helping people, saving people" she said, unable to look Steve in the eye, so she turned her head, but his gaze did not waiver, "But it was Hydra all along. Hydra killed Fury and Howard, just like they killed" she stopped, swallowing the lump in her throat, Steve bowing his head, he shared her loss with her, all of her losses. Hydra had taken as much from him as they had from her.

"I gave everything to SHIELD. I put all of my trust in them. Did whatever they asked, even if it was morally dubious, because I thought that I was doing it for the greater good. And, to find out that it wasn't"

"You didn't know" he assured her, his head turning, face inching closer, trying to get her to look at him, "None of this is your fault"

"How can you say that?" She asked, her gaze meeting his, an utterly broken look in her eyes, the look of someone who had been shattered, torn about, worn down, lost everything, and didn't know how to come back

"All that time, Hydra was in SHIELD the whole time, and I had no idea. And Howard. He figured it out, and they killed him. Why didn't he tell me? I could've helped. He, he might've lived"

"Telling you would've put you in danger, he was protecting you" said Steve, "No one knew about Hydra. Clara" he said, moving his body closer to hers, "There's nothing you could've done"

"Yes, I could've, if I'd been willing to use my powers I would've known" she said, "I could've seen it, I could've, saved them"

"How?"

"I, uh, I can see, into the mind's of others" she explained, "Though, I doubt Hydra agents would've been willing, and the last time, the only time, I've done it against the person's will, it didn't exactly end well"

"What happened?"

"During, the Vietnam War, I was an operative, and I was ordered to get information from a target. So, I tried, to see into his mind, but he fought against me, and I couldn't control it. I, saw everything he'd done, felt, everything, all of his pain, his anger, his guilt. And even then, I got off lightly compared to him" she explained, looking away, tears welling in her eyes, Steve's hand moving to her arm, trying to comfort her, "He, he went absolutely crazy, and he, uh, he killed, a bunch of people. Civilians. Innocent people. I did that. I caused that. I've caused so many bad things. I've done so many bad things"

"Hey, hey" he said, pulling her closer to him, and she wrapped her arms around his chest, desperate for comfort, "You're not a bad person. You didn't know what would happen. It's not your fault"

Clara wanted to cry, to let out her pain, beat down on his chest and release her rage. But she couldn't. The mission wasn't over, and she'd keep her feelings bottled up until it was, keep pushing her emotions down. Because SHIELD, no, Hydra, would be relentless in their pursuit of them. There was nowhere they would be safe. Not until they'd torn Hydra down.

"We could've died Steve. They tried to kill us" she whispered, against his chest, "We could still get killed. We're being hunted down and they won't stop"

"We'll stop them" he promised her, and she pulled away, to look up at his earnest face, "We'll be okay"

Clara reached up her hand, the skin of his cheek smooth against her fingertips, just reminding her of how young he really was. So young, and yet he'd already been through so much. And, even his encouraging half smile, didn't stop her heart from breaking for him, and all he had lost. Because, in truth, she hadn't seen a proper smile grace his face in over seventy years. And she was devastated, by all that this world had taken from Steve. He deserved so much better.

She didn't know if it was her melancholic reflections, their recent brush with death, the constant threat of it looming over their heads, or a combination of all three, that spurned her into action. But she knew that what she did next was a culmination of all the tension that had been building up between them ever since he woke up. So, in one swift movement, she leant up on her knees, and took his face in her hands, pulling it towards hers, their lips connecting.

The kiss was unsure on Steve's end, fraught with worry, guilt, regret. But she poured all of her emotions into it, her grief and pain, the relief and gratitude she'd felt upon learning of his survival, the rejection caused by his mistrust, and the hope, that things could be better again.

When they broke apart, he whispered her name against her lips, a name that sounded foreign, like a long forgotten dream from childhood, an idea she'd grasped at for many years but could never latch her fingers onto it. And now she could. Because of him, she could be the girl he once knew, she could be good again, not scarred and damaged, with an off centre moral compass, always second guessing herself and her decisions.

"Clara, we can't, we shouldn't" he told her, but neither moved away from the other, "You're"

"Bucky would want us to be happy, Peggy would to, you know that. And if we make each other happy, then they'd be supportive of it" she said, moving her fingers into his hair, stroking it, "I want you to be happy, I know how hard this has all been on you, and I want to help you, I want to support you, I want to be with you. Let me be with you. We can be happy with each other"

Steve looked at her, with his wide innocent blue eyes, he'd already changed since he'd woke up, the changes were small, and she hoped that he was just adjusting. And she hoped, that maybe together, they could each return to the people they used to be.

"Promise me we'll try" she whispered, "Please"

"Okay" he nodded, and she broke out into a grin, pressing a quick kiss to his lips, resting her forehead against his, "Now, are you going to introduce me to the illusive friend?" She asked, "Because I don't think Captain America broke into someone's house. Unless you've suddenly grown accustomed to breaking the law. Does it give you a quick thrill?"

"Come on" he chuckled, getting up from the bed, reaching out a hand to help her up

"Hey, we're already fugitives, we may as well just keep breaking the law" she teased, "I mean, if you want to add breaking and entering to your resume, I'm sure everyone will understand"

"No, my friend's name is Sam, he was a soldier, now he works done at the VA" Steve explained, "We met during a run"

"That's nice" she said, glad that Steve was making friends, outside of work and his past, maybe he was finally ready to move on.

They walked down through the hallway, and into the kitchen, where Natasha was leaning against the counter, the man Clara assumed to be Sam standing on the other side of the table.

"Ah, you finally woke up" said Natasha, "How're you feeling?"

"Okay, or at least as okay as I can be" she replied, sitting down at the table,

Natasha didn't look convinced, but was more suspicious of the change in Clara's demeanor, casting a glance towards a sheepish Steve, who had taken the seat opposite Clara, before speaking.

"So, the question is, who at SHIELD could launch a domestic missile strike" said Natasha, as Clara took a bite of her toast

"Pierce" said Steve

"Who happens to be sitting on top of the most secure building in the world" said Natasha

"But he's not working alone" said Steve, "Zola's algorithm was on the Lemurian Star"

"Along with Jasper Sitwell" said Clara, her skin bristling as she clenched her jaw. Sitwell was Hydra. How hadn't she known? She'd known the man for years and hadn't suspected a thing. She never would've guessed he'd turn around and betray all of them, betray SHIELD and everything it stood for.

"So, the question is, how do the three most wanted people capture a SHIELD officer in broad daylight" said Steve leaning back in his chair, as Sam set down the knife he was using to butter the toast, to grab a file

"The answer is, you don't" said Sam, dropping the file onto the table

"What's this?" Asked Steve, rising from his seat

"Call it a resume"

"Is this Bakmalab? The Khaled Khandil mission, that was you" said Natasha, picking up the picture, "You didn't say he was a para rescue"

"Is this Riley?" Asked Steve, taking the photo from Natasha

Sam nodded, a solemn expression on his face. Clara got up from her chair, looking over at the photo. She didn't know who Riley was, but she figured he was someone important to Sam.

"I heard they couldn't bring in the choppers because of the RPG's" said Natasha, "What did you use? A stealth shoot?"

"No, these" said Sam, handing the file to Steve

Clara looked over at the file, her lips breaking out into an impressed smile when she saw what Sam was referring to.

"I thought you said you were a pilot" said Steve

"I never said pilot" replied Sam, chuckling

"That's one hell of a resume" said Clara, sitting back down and resuming her meal

"I can't ask you to do this" said Steve, "You got out for a good reason"

Clara had the sneaking suspicion that the reason had something to do with Riley, but knew better then to question it.

"Dude, Captain America needs my help" said Sam, "There's no better reason to get back in"

"Where can we get our hands on one of these?" Asked Steve

"The last one is in Fort Meade" said Sam, "Behind there guarded gates and a twelve inch steel wall"

"Shouldn't be a problem" said Steve, as Natasha shrugged

Clara took one last bite of the toast, setting it down on the plate, standing up from the chair. But Steve put his hand on her arm to stop her, her eyebrows pulling into a frown as she looked up at him.

"Let me and Natasha handle this, you're still not okay" he said gently, "You find Sitwell. Have something to eat, get cleaned up"

"Are you saying that I look less then perfect?" She teased, "Because, if you are, I'm not overly pleased with what you're suggesting"

"You always look perfect" he told her, the cheesiness of the statement failing to prevent her face morphing into a bashful grin, mirroring his very expression

Just as he took a step away, she grabbed onto his arm, her eyes widening, as her expression became serious, "Stay safe"

"I will"

Steve's eyes roamed over her face, looking as if he was deciding something. He seemed to reach his decision, when he leaned down to press a kiss to her cheek. Her lips curved back into a smile, a blush growing on his face, as Natasha and Sam grinned at them.

"You ready?" Steve asked Natasha, who nodded at him, "We'll get our stuff and go"

Steve walked past Natasha, who winked at Clara, before following behind him. Clara looked down at the ground, unable to wipe the smile from her face, not that she particularly wanted to.

"So, you and Captain America, huh" said Sam, after Steve and Natasha had left, the pair of them sitting down at the table, "How long has that been going on?"

"It just started" she said, "Literally. It just started in your bedroom, after I woke up" she told him, her eyes widening when she realised what that sounded like, "Not that, I mean, nothing like that happened, in your bedroom, or in your bed, I'm just gonna stop talking now"

"Wow, look what he's got you like after a kiss on the cheek. I've gotta know his secret" Sam teased, "Or is it a Captain America thing?"

"It's a Steve Rogers thing" she said, "Thanks for letting us crash here"

"It's no problem" he shrugged, "It'll make a great story"

"I suppose, if you live to tell it" she said, before frowning, "Sorry, that got really dark really quick" she muttered, "I, usually try to stay on more upbeat topics when making new friends. I guess being on the run kinda puts a damper on budding friendships"

"But not budding relationships?"

"God, you really want to talk about me and Steve" she said, before clapping her hands together, "Alright, fire away, what questions do you have?"

"Did you and Steve, have a thing for each other before the whole ice thing?" He asked, "Or is this completely new?"

"No, my marriage to his best friend kinda prevented any attraction pre-freezing" she said, "And it was also a big blockage post-freezing. Among other things"

"Other things?" He asked, raising his eyebrows, and she took a deep breath

"I'm a spy, I've been a spy for decades. I've gained some...bad habits, that are hard to break" she explained, "Keeping secrets is one of them. Steve had, issues with it, as most people would"

"But you've worked it out?"

"Hopefully" she said, "It's just, nice, to have someone who understands my, predicament"

"Yeah, I guess you do have a lot in common" Sam agreed

"Yeah, we do" she said, "Okay, I've got a person to find"

"How are you gonna do that?"

"I, it's hard to explain" she said, reaching down into her boot, pulling out the map of DC she'd stuffed down there, "I, can track people, through mental links. It doesn't always give an exact location, which is why I have a map"

"Do you always carry a map around with you? Just in case"

"Pretty much, yeah" she admitted, "It'll be easy to track Sitwell, because I've known him for a long time"

"Do you have to know the person you're tracking?"

"Not necessarily, but it certainly helps, the stronger the connection, the easier it is to follow" she said, "In other circumstances, I can track people from the location of an event" she explained, "For example, I tracked Bruce Banner for awhile, by going to the location of an incident, and, essentially, following his rage"

"That's, really cool"

"Thank you" she said, nodding at him, a wistful smile pulling at her lips. Rare, was it, for someone to react positively to her abilities, outside of situations where it benefited them, "I'm going to have a quick shower, I probably stink"

Sam nodded, as she got up from the table, giving him a smile, before walking down the hallway, and back into his room. Before entering his bathroom, she cast a glance towards his bed, and smiled to herself. Hopeful, for the first time in a long time. Things could be good again. Things would be good again. It was a promise she planned on holding, both herself and Steve to. They would be happy.

* * *

 **I would really like to hear your thoughts about her and Steve. Obviously, there will be a certain reveal shortly, but I'd love to hear your opinions on their relationship and it's progression.**

 **Please check out my story, A Series of Occurrences, and vote on the poll about which of Clara's love interests you prefer her with. You can find them both on my profile.**


	5. Chapter 5

**Disclaimer: Everything belongs to its rightful owners**

* * *

 _"Nothing is so painful to the human mind as a great and sudden change."_

 _Mary Shelley_

* * *

 **Chapter Five**

They had been successful in their endeavour, her tracking and Sam's tricking, resulting in them now hauling the captured Sitwell up the stairs of a building. Steve threw him through the door to the roof of the building, Natasha and Clara following behind him, Sitwell rolling onto the ground.

"What's Zola's algorithm?" Asked Steve

"Never heard of it" said Sitwell, backing up as the three of them neared him, putting his glasses back on

"What were you doing on the Lemurian Star?"

"Throwing up, I get sea sick" said Sitwell, and Clara held in her scoff. She'd been on a boat with him. He didn't get sea sick. And she knew, he knew, that she knew that.

Sitwell's legs hit the ledge, and he started to lose balance, but Steve grabbed onto his jacket before he could fall.

"Is this little display meant to insinuate that you're gonna throw me off the roof?" Asked Sitwell, putting much care into not showing the slightest amount of fear, his cockiness irritating her, as she narrowed her eyes at him, "Cause, it's really not your style, Rogers"

"Your right. It's not" said Steve, letting go of Sitwell, and patting down his jacket, "But there's someone else who can't wait to throw you off this roof"

Steve stepped away from Sitwell, clearing her way. Before Clara made any movement, she made sure he could see just how angered she was by the betrayal, and when she could see the fear in his eyes, she flicked out her wrist, sending him up and over the ledge.

Clara listened to his screams as he plummeted through the air, which didn't stop even when Sam grabbed onto him. He did stop screaming, however, when Sam dropped him back onto the roof, Sam flying over to land behind them, turning around to face them, the wings of his pack folding back in. The three of them, walked over to where Sitwell lay on the ground, panting.

"Zola's algorithm is a program" said Sitwell, holding up his hand, clearly not wanting to go for another ride, not that she could blame him, falling to your death had to be her most feared scenario, followed by car crashes and heart attacks, "For choosing Insight's targets"

"What targets?" Asked Steve

"You, the DB anchor in Cairo, the other secretary of defense" said Sitwell, "High School valedictorian of Iowa City, Bruce Banner, Steven Strange. Anyone who's a threat to Hydra, now, or in the future"

"Future" said Steve, "How could it know?"

"How could it not?" Sitwell replied, accompanied by a sinister laugh, that made Clara question how she hadn't predicted his betrayal, as he clambered back up to his feet, "The 21st Century, is a digital book, Zola taught Hydra how to read it. Your bank records, credit card score, voting patterns, emails, your damn SAT scores, Zola's algorithm evaluates people's past, to predict their futures"

"And what then?" Asked Steve

"Oh my God" said Sitwell, finally realising the extent of what he'd just told them all, his eyes widening in fear, as he backed away from them," Pierce is gonna kill me"

"What then?" Repeated Steve, as Sam grabbed onto Sitwell, stopping him from moving

"Then the Insight Helicarrier scratches people off the list" said Sitwell, "A few million at a time"

Clara's chest tightened, as the gravity of his words hit her. She knew she was most definitely on the list, there wasn't a doubt about that. But she couldn't care less about herself. If she was on the list, then so were her children. Evidence linking them to her might be scarce, but she was not enough of a fool to believe that Hydra would not consider them to be a threat. She hadn't raised her children to be well intentioned extremists with god complexes.

They had to put a stop to Project Insight. If not, she couldn't bare to think of the consequences.

* * *

The five of them were travelling along in Sam's car, the squishiness of the backseat, with Natasha, Clara and Sitwell all piled in there, was made all the more awkward by the fact Clara was itching to beat the ever loving crap out of Sitwell. To say that she didn't take betrayals well, would be an understatement.

"Hydra doesn't like leaks" said Sitwell

"Then put a cork in it" Sam replied, effectively shutting him up for the moment

"Insight's launching in sixteen hours, we're cutting it a little close" said Natasha

"I know" Steve, admitted "We'll use him to bypass the DNA scans and access the Helicarrier directly"

"What?" Asked Sitwell, "Are you crazy? That is a terrible, terrible idea"

Clara opened her mouth to reply to Sitwell, but was interrupted by the roof thumping, as something landed on it, causing a dent. The window of the car was smashed open, as a hand reached in and threw Sitwell from the vehicle.

The assailant, began to fire shots through the roof of the car. Natasha climbed over onto Steve's laps to dodge the bullets. Clara held her hands out to her side, creating a force that pushed the bullets away from her and into the seat.

Steve quickly pulled the gearstick into park, stopping the car and throwing the assailant off. She looked up through the windscreen, her heart stopping as she realised who the assailant was. The Winter Soldier.

It was like she was back in 1973, watching her lover being shot, having him bleed out in her arms. Fear had coursed through her then, when she'd been sure that it was all over for her; and the same feeling passed over her now. They were dead. She was sure of it.

"Oh my God" she said, as Natasha pulled out a gun

Before Natasha could fire a shot, the car was hit from the back, and the gun was knocked from her hand. Clara was thrown forwards, but the seatbelt she was still wearing prevent her from going flying. Unfortunately, it hurt like a bitch.

The car was pushed forwards, straight towards The Winter Soldier. Right before he was about to be hit, he flipped over the hood of the car and onto the back. Sam hit the brakes, trying to slow them down, to no avail. A metal hand broke through the windscreen, and tore the handle right out of the car, Sam yelling a very appropriate swear word.

Natasha grabbed the gun that she had dropped, firing a few shots into the roof. But The Winter Soldier had already jumped onto the truck behind them.

The car started to swerve, due to the lack of steering. Which was only made worse when the truck hit them a final time. The car hit the side, and started to flip.

"Hang on" Steve ordered Natasha, "Clara?"

"I've got it" she replied, as Steve grabbed onto Sam, before knocking out the car door and falling to the ground.

Clara pushed out her hand, causing the door to fly off, before half jumping, half falling, out of the car and onto the door. She used it as a surfboard of sorts, telekinetically pushing herself forwards, moving towards them.

Just as she reached them, something was fired at Steve. He pushed Natasha away from him, lifting up his shield to protect himself, but was knocked clear off the bridge. Clara turned her head, seeing that they were being shot at, jumped off of the door, flicking her hand to bring it up, acting as a shield.

She sent the door flying towards the shooters as she jumped onto the car Natasha was taking cover behind, joining her on the other side. She pulled out her gun and aimed for the shooters, but before she could fire, the Winter Soldier shot at the car, causing it to catch alight. Natasha jumped across onto the other lane, whilst Clara pulled over two of the empty cars, flicking her wrist to cause the car closest to the assailants to explode, giving her enough time to take cover behind the cars.

She hid behind the car, using The Winter Soldier's focus on Natasha, to give her time to move over to the edge of the bridge. She looked down, and couldn't see Steve, sighing, becauss she knew there was no other way down besides jumping. Or, as she referred to it, controlled falling.

"I hate heights" she muttered, before stepping off the bridge

Clara outstretched her arms, telekinetically slowing herself down to safely land on the ground, preventing further injury. She moved over behind a pillar, using it for cover. She readied her gun, waiting for the assailants to come down.

She heard a crash, and peered around the pillar to see The Winter Soldier strutting off the roof of a car. Watching as he walked away, her gun aimed at him, but she couldn't shoot. It was like she was frozen, unable to pull the trigger. Her eyes widened in fear, as she moved back behind the pillar, praying that he wouldn't see her. She didn't know what was wrong with her, she'd never been unable to fight, nothing had ever stopped her before. So why now?

The Winter Soldier followed after Natasha, and it was his thought that got Clara moving. She had to help Natasha. Even if she was suddenly struck with some unknown emotion preventing her from attacking. She took a deep breath, before taking off from behind the pillar. Noticing the shadows of the assailants, she splayed her fingers, causing the car closest to her to explode. The explosion allowing her to chase after Natasha and the Winter Soldier.

She gained on them, just long enough to see Natasha in mid-fight with the Winter Soldier, and she was losing. Just as Natasha was thrown to the ground, and the Winter Soldier picked up his gun to fire, Clara jumped onto the car behind him, pushing herself off to kick the gun from his hand.

"Run" she told Natasha

The Winter Soldier pulled out his knife, taking a swipe at her. She grabbed ahold of his arm, pushing it away from her, but he used his metal arm to grab onto her, pulling her against him, so that her back was pressed to his chest. He pressed the knife closer to her neck, her hands grasping around his wrist to hold it back. The blade inching closer to her skin, itching for her blood. His metal hand moved upward to grasp the handle of the knife, and she knew that if he did then she would end up with an open throat. At the same time that Clara bit down on the flesh of his hand, Natasha threw a taser disk on to his metal arm. The momentary incapacitatation of his arm allowed her free movement of hers. She dug her elbow into his chest, stepping free of his grip, throwing back her hand to send him flying back over the top of the car.

"Let's go" she said, as they began to run away

They had almost made cover behind a car, when a shot rang out, and Natasha fell to her knees. Clara pulled her against the car, as Natasha grabbed onto her shoulder. She moved her hands apart, creating a barrier around them, to protect them from any further attacks

She heard a loud crash, spinning her head to see The Winter Soldier landed on the car next to them. He aimed his gun at them, but before either of them could do anything, he was distracted by Steve running up to him.

As soon as Steve had him well distracted in their fight, Clara returned her attention to her wounded teammate. She moved Natasha's jacket over to look at her wound.

"You'll be fine" Clara told her, "Just keep pressure on it, we can stitch it up when we get outta here"

"Where's Steve?" She asked

"He's fighting" said Clara, "Stay here, I'll go help him out"

Before Natasha could contest, Clara had already moved around the car and was rushing off to help Steve. She couldn't see Steve, but she could still hear the fighting. She ran around the cars, locking her eyes on Steve, just in time to watch him flip The Winter Soldier over his back, ripping off his mask.

She was only a few feet away from Steve, when The Winter Soldier turned around, revealing his identity. And she completely froze. It couldn't be. It wasn't. There was no way. It wasn't possible. He was dead. But he was there.

"Bucky" said Steve

"Who the hell is Bucky?" He said, aiming his gun at Steve, but before he could shoot, Sam flew down and kicked him over.

Clara screamed out, and as he got up, she could've sworn she saw confused recognition on his face. But he still aimed his gun straight at them, and again he was prevented from firing, when Natasha used his own gun to shoot at him from behind them, causing the car beside him to explode.

"No" she called out, rushing forward, her heart thumping in her chest as she looked through the smoke for him, but he had disappeared.

"Steve" she said, stumbling to him, "It was, oh my god" she mumbled, as Steve put his arm around her shoulder, "But, he's...he's dead. It...it can't be, it can't be him"

Clara was in too much shock to even notice the fact that there were people coming towards them, or the fact that said people were aiming guns at her. She was only pulled back to the real world when Steve spoke her name.

"Clara, put your hands up" ordered Steve, as the men with guns come closer

"On your knees" said Rumlow, forcing them both down onto their knees, "Not here, put the gun down" he ordered Rollins, who had his gun pointed straight at Steve's head, "Not here"

Clara just stared down at the ground, as her hands were handcuffed in shackles, definitely not something you would find on your average cop. Rollins hauled her up from the ground, like she was nothing but a rag doll, to shove her into the back of a van. They were clearly expecting more resistance from her, as he seemed genuinely surprised that she was impassive whilst he pulled a metal bar around her waist, and two around her ankles, trapping her in the seat, next to Steve who was contained by his own contraption.

It was Bucky. It was her Bucky. Her James. Her husband. Who had been dead for seventy years. But he wasn't. He was there, standing in front of her, having no idea who she was. He had tried to kill her.

But Bucky wouldn't have done that, he wasn't Bucky. Not him. Not the man she loved. Whoever it was, he had Bucky's face, but not his mind. No, it wasn't her Bucky. It wasn't the man she had known and loved. It couldn't be.

He may still be alive, but Hydra had taken his mind from him, his choice, his free will. He was a shell. And she didn't know how much of him was left.

"It was him" said Steve, "He looked right at me, and he didn't even know me"

"How is that even possible?" Asked Sam, "It was like, seventy years ago"

"Zola" replied Steve, still keeping his eyes on the ground, "Bucky's whole unit was captured in 43, Zola experimented on him, whatever he did helped Bucky survive the fall, they must have found him and..."

"None of that's your fault Steve" said Natasha,

"Even when I had nothing, I had Bucky" mused Steve

Clara wanted to cry, but found she couldn't. She'd spent so many years pushing the tears away. Convincing others that she was okay. Convincing herself. She cried all her tears, she had none left. All that was left was anger. Hydra had done this. And she would make them pay.

"We need a doctor" said Sam, "If we don't put pressure on that wound, she's gonna bleed out in the truck"

One of the guards brandished their stick, turning out the voltage, pointing it at Sam. Before flipping it around, and stabbing it into the other guard. They kicked the guard twice, knocking him unconscious.

"That thing was squeezing my brain" said Maria, as she pulled the helmet off of her head, "Who's this guy?"

* * *

 **So now she knows about Bucky. How do you think she'll react? What do you think she'll do? Don't forget to vote on the poll, you can find it on my profile.**

 **Also, check out my story A Series of Occurences, it's a spinoff series of one-shots revolving around Clara. I'd love for you all to give it a read.**


	6. Chapter 6

**Disclaimer: Everything belongs to its rightful owners**

* * *

 _"You must live life with the full knowledge that your actions will remain. We are creatures of consequence."_

 _Zadie Smith_

* * *

 **Chapter Six**

Clara was sure that she was not in control of her own body, as she followed behind the others, through the dark tunnel of the underground base hidden inside a dam that Maria had brought them to. She said it was a safe location. Or at least, Clara thought she did, she wasn't sure, she hadn't been paying much attention.

She was numb, acting purely on instinct, unable to think of anything but what she had just found out. It kept replaying, over, and over, and over in her head. Like a video on repeat. Bucky was the Winter Soldier. The Winter Soldier was Bucky.

Steve and Sam were holding up Natasha, weak from blood loss, a man running towards them.

"GSW, she's lost a least a pint." said Maria to him

"Maybe two." Sam called out

"Let me take her." said the man

"She'll want to see him first." said Maria

"Him?" Clara asked, her head snapping up from where her eyes had been trained on the ground, but Maria didn't answer her

The cogs in Clara's brain kicked into gear, as they continued. Who could Natasha possibly want to see more then getting the medical treatment she desperately needed. There was only one person she could think of. But he was dead. Unless he wasn't. Was Fury alive? But he died. She'd seen him die. How could he fake that?

 _Because he was one hell of a manipulative bastard_ , she told herself, knowing that it was the absolute truth.

As they walked into a room, the identity of the person hidden behind a curtain. Clara sucked a breath in, as Maria pulled the curtain across, to reveal a bruised and battered Fury lying in a hospital bed.

"About damn time." he said

She let out the breath she was holding, her chest heaving, as she gripped the back of the chair the doctor was guiding Natasha into. Relief washed over her, but anger was quick to follow. Fury had let her think he was dead. Why hadn't he told her? Didn't he trust her? But he did. She knew he trusted her.

The only reason she could go come up with, was because of Steve and Natasha. Too many people couldn't know about his survival. Maybe he hadn't trusted her not to tell them. But it wasn't like she hadn't already been keeping things from Steve.

Speaking of Steve, seeing her unbalance, he gently gripped her arm, steadying her. Usually, he would have offered her an encouraging smile, but neither could muster the energy to fake emotional stability enough to help the other.

"Lacerated spinal column, cracked sternum, shattered collarbone, perforated liver, and one hell of a headache." Fury listed off

"Don't forget your collapsed lung." said the doctor, who was beginning to work away on Natasha's bullet wound

"Oh, let's not forget that," said Fury, "But other then that, I'm good."

"But they cut you open, your heart stopped." said Natasha,

"Tetrodotoxin B, slows the heart rate to one beat per minute," said Fury, "Banner developed it for stress, didn't work so well for him, but we found a use for it."

"Why all the secrecy?" Asked Steve, "Why not just tell us?"

"Any attempt of the Director's life had to look successful." said Maria

"Can't kill ya if you're already dead," said Fury, "Besides, I wasn't sure who to trust."

Clara crossed her arms over her chest, her jaw tightening. She was sick of all of these secrets, and their dramatic reveals. In only a span of a few days, everything she'd known had been turned over on its head, utterly destroying it.

Fury had died, but then he hadn't. Bucky was dead, and then he wasn't. Hydra was gone, but there'd actually infiltrated SHIELD. She was starting to see a pattern.

Nothing about her life would be the same again. Things had changed. And she just wished she could go back, to when things were simpler, and everything made sense.

* * *

They were now down at a table, all except for Steve, who looked like a bundle of barely contained rage and angst, and Sam, who seemed barely fazed by suddenly being thrown into the world of superheroes and spies. He was probably fazed on the inside.

"This man, declined a Nobel peace prize " said Fury, looking down at a photo of Pierce, "He said peace was not an achievement, it was a responsibility",dropping the photo onto the table, "See, it's stuff like this, that gives me trust issues."

"Tell me about it." Clara muttered, she'd known Pierce just as long as Fury had, granted she was never as close to him, but she'd never have expected this of him, not in a million years. Guess she really was a poor judge of character.

"We have to stop the launch." said Natasha

"I don't think the council's accepting my calls right now." said Fury, as he opened up the briefcase, revealing three chips inside of it

"What's that?" Asked Sam

Maria turned around the computer screen, as she began to explain, "Once the helicarrier reach 3000 feet, they'll triangulate with Insights satellites, becoming fully weaponised."

"We need to breach those carriers, and replace their targeting blades with our own," said Fury

"One or two won't cut it," said Maria, "We need to link all three of the carriers for this to work. Because, if even one of those ships remains operational, a whole lot of people are going to die."

"We have to assume that everyone on those carriers is Hydra," said Fury, "We have to get past them, insert these server blades with our own, and maybe, just maybe, we can salvage what's left".

"We're not salvaging anything," Steve interjected, "We're not just taking down the carriers Nick, we're taking down SHIELD."

"SHIELD had nothing to do with this," defended Fury

"You gave me this mission, this is how it ends," said Steve, "SHIELD's compromised, you said so yourself. Hydra grew right under your nose and you didn't notice."

"Why do you think we're meeting in this cave," said Fury, "I noticed."

"And how many had to pay the price before you did?" Asked Steve

"Look, I didn't know about Barnes." said Fury

"Even if you had, would you have told me?" Asked Steve, "Or would you have compartmentalised that too? SHIELD, Hydra, it all goes."

"He's right." said Maria

Nick just stared at them all, moving his gaze to each of them in disbelief. When his gaze landed on Clara, he raised his eyebrows, obviously expecting her to agree with him.

"Steve's right, and we both know it," she said, meeting his eyes, "I know what SHIELD means to you, I know how much this hurts you, it hurts me too. But he's right."

"Well," said Fury, leaning back into his chair, "Looks like you're giving the orders now, Cap."

The group went over the plan, ironing out the kinks, Steve delegating jobs to everyone, instructing them on what they would do. Her, Steve and Sam would take down the helicarriers, Natasha and Fury release the information onto the internet, and Maria would be in charge of communications and co-ordinating them.

"But, what about the SHIELD agents? The loyal ones," Clara asked them, "Once we announce Hydra's presence, chaos will erupt. Hydra'll be ready, but they won't. They'll be sitting ducks."

Steve thought it over for a second, before nodding in agreement, "I'll take two chips," he said, "You'll take out as many Hydra agents as you can, and get everyone else to safety."

* * *

Clara had sought sanctuary outside of the dark and decrepit tunnels, needing a breath of fresh air, and some time alone to contemplate her entire life. She supposed a bridge was a good place to do it, symbolising change, and all that bullshit. But, she'd had enough of change. Permanent and stable sounded pretty damn good to her.

"How are you doing?"

"Should'nt I be asking you that," she replied, "You must be, god, this has got to be the worst few days of your life."

"You too" he said

"It's not your fault, you know that, right," she said, "None of this is, not SHIELD, not" she goppled, her throat tightening, "None of it."

"I should've looked for him," Steve said, "I should've known."

"There was no way you could've known," she said, softly, as if her tone could absolve him of his imagined sins. Unfortunately, hers were not imagined. They were quite real. "A, a fall like that, it, it would've killed, anybody, else..." she stammered, pushing back her tears. She had to be strong. Steve needed her to be strong for him.

"You should hate me," said Steve, and she tilted her head, her eyes widening in shock, "He was your. You lost him. I could've saved him."

"We lost him," she corrected, "And you did everything you could. I don't blame you. And I could never hate you."

"I'm glad," he said, his voice sounding so incredibly broken. He'd lost so much in such a short time. But he wasn't alone. He'd never be alone. She'd always be there for him. No matter what

"This, mission, it's not like anything we've ever faced, and we don't have any extra help, and there's a lot resting on our success", she stopped when she realised she was rambling, and wasn't telling him anything he didn't already know, "Are you, will you be okay, I mean, facing him?"

"I'll be fine," he told her, But she knew that look on his face, she'd seen it before. The utter resignation to your fate. And, whatever it was he had accepted, she wasn't sure she'd have the same sentiments. "What is it?"

"You, you gave your life to save the world, and I'd wouldn't expect you to do any less for your best friend" she said, reaching out to grip his arm, "But, I'm asking you, to at the very least, try your hardest, to not sacrifice yourself."

"You don't want me to save Bucky?" He asked, frowning at her

"I want to believe that Bucky's still in there, somewhere, but we have to face the very real possibility that he's gone," she pleaded, taking a step forward, but he looked away from her, "Steve, I'm not saying you shouldn't try," she said, squeezing his arm, to get him to look at her, "I'm just asking, if you can do it without dying, that would be preferable" - taking his other arm in her hand - "Because, I need you"

"Clara," he tried to say, pulling away from her

"No, just, listen," she said, holding up her hand. He nodded at her, shoving his hands back in his pockets, "I could, go on a speil about how the world needs Captain America. But I'm not, because I need you, I need Steve Rogers. Because when this is over, assuming we win, when the dust settles, I'm really going to need a friend. So please, I can't lose you too."

"I'll try," he agreed softly, and Clara doubted his words, but she told herself that her doubts were unfounded, and based off her own issues with loss

"Thank you," she said, lifting up her hand, but thought better of it, pulling it back, dropping it down to her side, "I'll, uh, go and get ready." she muttered, her head hanging as she retreated

She passed Sam on her way, but kept her eyes on the ground, not wanting to talk. Steve needed him more.

Either Fury or Maria had gotten out a SHIELD uniform for her to wear, not having her own, even though she had multiple ones, none of them were with her. It had been a long time since she'd worn one of them, and it felt unnatural to her, like a second skin that didn't quite fit. But it was all she had, so she'd make do.

"You ready to go?" Fury asked her

"Yes," she replied, bolstering her gun, moving to join Fury in the doorway

"You okay?"

 _No_

"Yes."

Fury paused to look a her, clearly doing his own assessment of her. Was she okay? Definitely not. Could she still function enough to see the mission through? Hopefully.

"It'll be okay." he told her, a futile attempt at comforting her. But heartwarming none the less.

"No, it won't," she said, managing a sad smile, "But I came to terms with that a long time ago."

* * *

 **Hope you liked it, please tell me what you think.**

 **According to the poll, everyone really likes Clara and Steve, I'd love to hear all your opinions on them. Please vote and tell me what you think, it may possibly have an influence on future stories.**

 **Also, check out my spin-off story of sorts, A Series of Occurences.**


	7. Chapter 7

**Disclaimer: Everything belongs to its rightful owners**

* * *

 _"Things come apart so easily when they have been held together with lies"_

 _Dorothy Allison_

* * *

 **Chapter Seven**

For it being the headquarters of SHIELD, the Triskelion was surprisingly easy to break into. The four of them had taken the control room with little resistance, though Clara was sure that once Steve did his little speech, they'd have their hands full with the outpour of Hydra.

"Attention all SHIELD agents, this is Steve Rogers. You've heard a lot about me in the past few days, some of you were even ordered to hunt me down," said Steve, "But, I think it's time you know the truth. SHIELD is not what we thought it was, it's been taken over by Hydra, Alexander Pierce is their leader, the STRIKE and Insight teams are also Hydra. I don't know how many more, but I know they're in the building, they could be standing right next to you."

"They almost have what they want, absolute control. They shot Nick Fury" continued Steve, and Clara was torn between grinning or grimacing at the ambiguity of his words. He almost sounded like a spy. "If you launch those helicarrier today, Hydra will be able to kill anyone they deem a threat, unless we stop them. And I know I'm asking a lot, the price of freedom is high, it always has been, but it's a price I'm willing to pay. And, if I'm the only one, then so be it, but I'm willing to bet I'm not."

"Did you write that down first?" Sam asked him, as Steve stepped away from the desk, "Or was it off the top of your head?"

Steve hid his smile, turning to Maria, "How much time do we have?"

"Two hours." She replied, "But they'll probably send them up earlier now"

"Alright, let's go." Steve said to Sam, Maria nodding at them as they passed

"Steve," she called out, latching onto his arm, "Stay safe, please."

Begging wasn't her usual style, she deplored it in fact. But if her pleading tone kept Steve alive, then she would grovel at his feet, if that's what it would take.

"You too." He replied, making no such promise, and she knew it. Begging wasn't effective as she'd hoped

Clara's hand fell back to her side, her head turning away, looking down at the ground. Steve, noticing her dismay, reached out for her hand, giving it a quick squeeze.

"I'll try." He whispered

Managing a half smile, which really only consisted of an up quirk of the corners of her lips, Steve took it as a signal to leave. When he was gone, she turned back to Maria, who was watching her with a look of pity. That, she decided, she deplored far more.

"Good luck." Clara said sharply, giving Maria a quick nod, before storming out of the room

Her thunderous walk continued as she made her way down the stairs, Maria directing her to the level most in need of her assistance

"They just launched." said Maria, over the coms

"Shit." muttered Clara, they had even less time now. She had the utmost faith in their team, but they were really pushing it.

Speaking of Hydra, her muttered swear was loud enough to catch the attention of the agent a few levels below her, who then began to shoot at her. Whoever they were, they were a lousy shot, probably not helped along by the fact they were currently running up the stairs towards her.

Just as they reached the level below her, she grabbed onto the railing, pushing herself up and over, swinging out her legs to kick the gun from his hands. Grabbing onto his shirt, she used her forearm to push him back against the wall.

"Are you Hydra?" The man asked, trembling as he practically sweated from fear

"No. You?"

"No, no," he stammered, "I'm, I'm just a tech, I ran, away, they, killed them."

"What's your name?" She asked, her voice softening, but she refused to remove her arm. There still wasn't enough proof as to which way his loyalty swayed.

"Mark," he told her, "I only just started here. I...I, they're dead."

"Mark, Mark, listen to me," she commanded, "I can get you out, okay, just do as I say, can you do that?" - he nodded vigorously, and she took that as a definite - "Where did you come from? What level?"

"F-f-f-fourty"

"The others you were with, did anyone else get out?"

"No, no, they...they shot them, all of them,"

"Them? How many were there?" She asked, but Mark was no longer looking at her, he just kept muttering under his breath, "Mark, you have to keep your focus on me, okay, otherwise you could go into shock, and we don't want that. Now, how many?"

"Three."

"Okay, I'm going to go down there, you're going to come with me, is that alright?"

"Yes."

"Great." She replied, releasing him from her grip, taking a step back

Mark was a little wobbly on his feet as they descended the stairs, but he was quickly regaining his composure. She still wasn't completely sure about him, and there was no way of knowing if he was definitely not Hydra. All she had to go on were her instincts. So they would have to do.

With Mark's direction, the pair of them had managed to get in undetected, giving them the edge when Clara spotted the three Hydra agents he had spoken about. Squatting down against the wall, she turned towards Mark.

"Alright, get your gun out, and stay here." She ordered, "I'll take care of them."

"Gun?"

"The one you shot at me with." She answered, and he looked away from her sheepishly, "Fine." She said, handing her gun to him, "Don't shoot at me this time."

"Will do."

Standing up, she pulled the knife out of her belt, flicking it over in her hand as she advanced around the corner. The three agents turned towards her, and three guns were aimed at her. Flicking her free hand upwards, the guns were sent upwards, into the ceiling, before clattering onto the floor. Breaking it a run, she pushed off the ground with her left foot, kicking off the wall with her right.

Throwing her empty hand back to create a force to push herself forward more. She kicked the first agent in the chest, before bringing her legs together, her knees landing on the second agents shoulders, plunging the knife into it. As he fell to the floor, she rolled forwards off of him. The third Ageny could barely process what had happened, before she had kicked his legs out from under him, before shoving the knife into his chest.

Rising from the ground, she turned to see Mark standing behind her, trembling as he surveyed the carnage she had caused. For a second, his reaction surprised her, but then she remembered, that his horror was that of an ordinary person, not used to death the way she was. And she inwardly shuddered, at the normalcy of violence to her.

"Mark. Mark." She called out, his eyes snapping up to look at her, "We've gotta go. Now."

"Okay." He nodded, slowly creeping forward, navigating his way around the dead bodies with such precision, he looked like he was in a mine field.

"You good?" She asked when he reached her, looking at him expectedly

"Yeah, I'm, I'm fine." He replied, his tone not at all convincing

Not having enough time to evaluate his mental state, they pushed on. But they didn't find anyone, on that level, or the next. She supposed that was a good sign. It meant that the agents had gotten out, that they had a chance.

It wasn't until the third level that they came upon a group, lead by a familiar face.

"Sharon." Clara called out, running up to the group, "Are you okay? Is anyone hurt?"

"Nothing too serious, you?"

"I'm fine." She replied, "Most of the levels seem to be clear, did many get out?"

"I think so," Sharon answered, "That or Hydra got them."

"Okay, well, get these people out." Clara said, "Good luck."

"You too."

Clara turned to Mark, who's gaze was glued on the ground, she called out his name, and he looked up at her. His eyes were wide, bright blue, and incredibly broken.

"You're going to go with Sharon, alright, she'll get you out." She told him, and he nodded limply

"Thank you." He whispered

"You're welcome."

Clara watched, solemnly, as Sharon lead the group away. Hopefully they would make it out. She trusted Sharon's ability, and hoped that no harm would befall them.

"Clara." She heard Maria say through the coms, "You're needed on Level 48, there's a group of Hydra there."

"I'll be there," she replied, before muttering to herself, "I'm not taking the bloody stairs again."

And with that in mind, Clara made her way towards the elevator. It was a risky move, sure to draw attention, but she'd take the chance if it meant she wouldn't have to run up almost ten flights of stairs. This way was quicker.

The endeavour proved itself to be just as risky as she predicted, when the elevator doors opened, to reveal four agents standing in front of her, guns aimed.

"I surrender," she said, raising her eyebrow along with her arms, her hands in fists

"Hydra doesn't take prisoners." Said one of the agents

"That's a damn shame." She rexiled, opening her hands, creating a barrier that caught their shots

The agents continued to fire, but her barrier caught every bullet. They began to back away, clearly realising that things weren't going their way. She threw her arms forward, causing the barrier to fly towards them. The force knocked them over, causing the bullets to embed in their chests. Her arms fell to her side, as she walked up to them.

"Thanks." She said, plucking a gun from the arms of one of the agents.

She raised her free hand, causing the other guns to lift off the ground, before closing it into a fist, the metal letting out a crunch as it crushed into itself.

"You're even more impressive when you're the enemy." Came a voice. It was familiar, but held a vileness that was unrecognisable

Looking up, her eyes widened as they saw who the voice belonged to. She knew the woman well, she'd trained her, supervised her, known her for years. And all that time, she'd been Hydra. Or maybe some of the time. Or maybe this was a new development. Either way, she was knowing standing before her, a traitor, with her hands latched onto the jacket of a distraught woman

"Carol?" Clara called out, as the woman tightened her grip on the hostage

"Surprised?" Carol asked, pulling out her gun, holding it to the hostage head, the woman beginning to shake with sobs, "Place your weapon on the ground, or I shoot her."

"Okay," said Clara, tossing the gun onto the ground, holding her hands in the air,

"Take her," Carol ordered, nodding towards the other agents, who moved in, "You know, Clara, you really shouldn't be so predictable."

"I don't know," Clara replied, as the agents neared her, "Personally, I think I'm just the right amount of predictability."

And with that, she dropped her left hand, sending out a wave that collected one the agents. He flew backwards, straight into Carol, knocking her to the ground. The hostage dived to the side, crawling away.

Throwing out her arm, she sent the two other agents straight into the wall, leaving her to advance on her former ally. Carol clambered for the dropped gun, managing to grab onto it, and get back up to her feet. Clara grabbed onto her arm, just as she let off a shot. Jabbing her elbow into Carol's face, she dropped the gun, taking a step back. She swung around, delivering a punch straight to where her elbow had just been.

Falling down to the ground, Carol turned over. Now without her weapon, her colleagues incapacitated, and no way to avoid her imminent demise, Shd pulled a grenade from her pocket. And with a vicious grin, she pulled the clip.

"Guess you're coming down with me," she said, seeming to almost relish in the possibility of Clara's death

"Not today." Clara replied, and stony-faced, turned on her heel, holding up her hand to create a barrier, deflecting the explosion back towards Carol, and the other agents

The woman that was being held hostage had already scrambled off, desperate to get out of the building. And Clara couldn't blame her.

"Clara, you need to get up here, it's almost time." Maria said through the coms

"Alright, I'll be right there." She responded, before sighing, "The stairs are looking pretty good right now."

Clara didn't encounter anyone as she climbed the stairs. She hoped that meant that everyone had gotten out. She also hoped, that since she'd managed to reach the control room without any attempt on her life, that they had succeeded in putting a stop to Hydra's plan.

But her joy was short lived, when she heard Steve's orders as she stepped into the room.

"Fire now."

Her eyes scanned the screens, to see the helicarriers with new targets, locked and loaded, ready to blast each other out of the sky

"But Steve," Maria pleaded, and Clara's face fell, her mouth opening, her eyes widening

Steve was still in the helicarrier. Once again, he was in the direct path of danger, and he had put himself there.

"Do it." He ordered, and Maria reluctantly clicked the button, and the helicarries began to fire on one another

"No!" Clara screamed out, gripping the table, "Steve, please, don't do this."

"I have to." He replied, it being the closest thing to an apology, explanation, or goodbye, that he could offer her. Not that it would ever be enough.

"No, no." She moaned out, crumbling down onto the floor, "No."

Her whole body shook from the uncontrollable sobs that were reverberating around her chest. Breaths were shallow, her chest heaving. Curling her legs up to her. The tears stained her cheeks. Her heart shattering, as chaos reigned down from the sky, taking all her hope with them.

"Clara, come on, we need to go." Maria told her, the hand on her shoulder at an attempt at comfort, futile as it turned out to be

"No!" She screamed, hysterically, throwing out an arm, accidentally sending out a force that shattered the windows, not that she either noticed nor cared

"Steve wouldn't want you stay," said Maria, "If we get out of here, we can help him."

The tears finally stopped, her eyes meeting Maria's, and she gulped down the sobs. The mission wasn't over. There was still a chance. She could still save him. She had to finish the job.

Tentatively, she nodded, allowing Maria to help her back to her feet. She followed behind Maria, as she lead them out to the helicopter waiting to take them away. So far, everything was going according to plan, apart from Steve's self-sacrificing tendency. But even that was easily predicted.

As they flew, hovering over the water, but not so close that they were in danger of the collapsing building and falling helicarriers. She couldn't see anything, so she closed her eyes. Reaching out her mind, it was like hands were stretching out, crudely grabbing her surroundings, searching for him.

And she found him.

"I've got him, he's down there, by the water." She said hurriedly, frantically pointing to his location

"Lower us down." Maria ordered, and the helicopter slowly descended.

But Clara only waited until they were close enough for a safe fall, before moving to the edge. Maria called at her name, but she ignored her in favour of jumping straight into the water.

Water seeped through her clothes, drenching her hair. But she hardly noticed as she swam towards the shore. When she reached it, she dashed out of the water, falling onto her knees beside the unconscious Steve.

"You'll be alright," she told him, even though he couldn't hear her, "You'll be okay, you're safe. Oh thank god, you're safe."

* * *

 **Sorry for the wait, life was a little hectic for awhile. I hope you a enjoyed it, and please, leave a review. Don't forget about the poll, and also, check out my story A Series of Occurences.**


	8. Chapter 8

**Disclaimer: Everything belongs to its rightful owners**

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"The past is never where you think you left it."

Katherine Anne Porter

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 **Chapter Eight**

 _Beep, beep, beep_.

All that filled the air was the sound of the machines, and Steve's even breaths. Sam had gone to get them some food, though they both knew that hospital food was far from gourmet, it had been awhile since she ate, so it didn't really bother her.

Steve's unconscious body lay on the bed next to her, battered and bruised, definitely looking worse for wear. He was healing, slowly but surely, and she knew he would be back in action in no time. But that was no consolation for what she was currently feeling.

Never had she ever wanted to see him like this, and in his pre-serum days, it was a very real fear. Often she would see him covered in bruises given to him by some bully. But after he'd become Captain America, she thought that he was safe, that she wouldn't have to worry. And then him being frozen for seventy years only enforced the fear even further.

And to think, that Bucky had caused these injuries. It was unthinkable, but at the same time, it wasn't.

The Winter Soldier had done this to Steve, not Bucky. And maybe that distinction had begun to blur. But his memories were returning. And he was out there, somewhere, alone.

"You should get some sleep," Sam suggested, stepping back into the room, "He'll be fine. You need to look after yourself."

"I'm not tired." She protested, but it was a feeble attempt, the bags under her eyes being in direct contrast with her words, "Fine, just, a quick nap." She conceded, curling up in the chair, the tablet she was using, and the notepad she was writing on still laid in her lap

Sleep was quick to come, and even quicker to pass. Thankfully, filled with mundane dreams she couldn't recall, when she was drawn from her light slumber by the sound of people conversing.

"Clara." She heard a voice call out, her eyes snapping open at the realisation of who it belonged to

"Steve, you, you're awake." She said, wiping the sleep from her eyes as she sat upc "Um."

"I'll, give you two a minute." Sam said, a shit-eating grin on his face, as he practically strutted from the room

She turned back to an equally awkward Steve, neither knowing where they stood with other, and unable to think of what to say.

"What's that?" He asked, looking down to her lap

"It's, uh, it's nothing important," she said, standing up, dropping the tablet and notebook onto the chair, moving closer to the bed, "How're you feeling?"

"Better." He told her

"Liar." She rreplied, shaking her head at him, her eyes scanning over the wounds inflicted by a man they both loved

"It's not that bad," he assured her, "Really, I've had worse, you know that."

"Don't downplay it," she warned him, "Don't try and stop me from worrying, it's not gonna work. I'm always worried about you. I worried about you when you were a scrawny kid who got into fights, and I worry now that you're Captain America. Nothing will change that."

"Thanks, I guess." He said, but his lips were curving at the corners, and Clara could tell that he was glad that someone was worrying over him, "What about you? Can I worry about you?"

"Oh me, I'm fine, I always am". She said, though he believed her about as much as she believed him. Takinh a seat on the edge of his bed, facing away from him, she turned her head to raise her eyebrow at him, "So, are we going to talk about the elephant in the room?" She asked him, "Because by the looks of things, he packs a punch."

"Did you really expect me to not try?" Steve asked her, and she cocked her head

"I didn't expect you'd let him do this much damage." She said, lifting up her hand, to ghost her fingers over his cheeks, light enough that she wouldn't hurt his bruises, "Did you even fight back?"

"Of course I did."

"And when did you stop?" She asked, crossing her arms, frowning at him. Steve was a terrible liar usually, but he was especially bad at lying to her

"After the I inserted the chip." he said, his eyes dropping from hers. He never could lie to her. "I couldn't fight him Clara, I had to try and get him to remember who he is."

"I know, and I love that you refuse to give up on him," she said gently, dropping her arms to her side, "But I thought I specifically told you to refrain from sacrificing yourself. You matter Steve. You life matters. The world needs you. And I need you."

"Clara, we can't," he started but she stopped him

"I know," she said, "I know, that we missed our time, and maybe we were only ever meant to be friends. But that doesn't diminish what you mean to me. I lost you once, I can't lose you again."

"Okay."

"Good."

It was true, regardless of any romantic attachment, Steve meant a great deal to her. They had just begun to mend their relationship, she didn't want to lose him all over again.

The little amount of sleep she just had was not nearly enough, and her eyelids were beginning to become heavy. Tentatively, she laid down on the bed, hesistant not to push the boundaries they had yet to establish. Curling up next to him, on the cramped bed, she laid her head down on his chest, making sure that she didn't cause him any pain.

"Thank you." She whispered

"For what?"

"Coming back," she replied, "I need you Steve. I meant it, I can't lose you. Especially not now."

"I'm not going anywhere." He promised her

A comfortable silence fell over them, with only his even breathing filling the room. This constant reminder of his presence; a reminder of the fact he was alive, and here, with her; was enough to lull her to sleep.

* * *

After a few days of rest, Steve was back on his feet, and Clara was being called in to a Senate meeting, no longer able to use an injured friend as an excuse for her absence. Although, sitting through incessant questioning was not her favourite pastime, her appearance would make it easier for all the loyal SHIELD agents. If, she said the right thing.

Thanks to her previous involvement in classified missions for other American intelligence agencies, the media was barred from her meeting, and there was only two people questioning her. Though, to her, it seemed more like an interrogation. And a boring one at that.

"You mean to say, that you had absolutely no prior knowledge of Hydra's presence in SHIELD?" The woman asked, her name tag reading Julie Walters

"If I did, don't you think I'd have done something about it." She retorted, "Hydra fooled all of us."

"And how, exactly, should we gather intelligence now?" The man, by the name of Carl Sanders, spoke

"Is that not what the CIA are for? Or havd they grown innefective since I left?" She asked, "And what about the NSA, and all this other organisations. It's not exactly like America has a shortage of them."

"Would you be so humourous from behind bars?"

"Carl." Walters scolded, but her complaints remained disregarded

"No, I'd love to hear what Carl has to say. Go on, lay out your plan for the next time, the world's faced with a threat they can't face." Clara goaded, "Or, Carl," - leaning forward against the desk - "How 'bout I just spill all the classified information I have locked away inside my head. All those missions. I'd hate to think of the effect releasing that information to the public will have."

"You don't want to do that." Walters warned

"Oh, I might. But I won't. Not if you give me what I want."

"And what's that?" Carl spat

"Immunity, for all SHIELD agents with no affiliations with Hydra."

"We can't guarantee that."

"Oh, well, I guess everyone will love to hear about - "

"Fine." Walters relented, "You win."

"Nobody wins here." She muttered, standing up, "Can I leave now? I think we're done here."

"Sure." Walters replied, waving her out with one hand, and pinching her nose with the other

 _Must be a stressful position_ , Clara thought to herself, as she strolled out of the building, with such confidence, it appeared as though nothing could touch her. But, of course, appearances could be misleading.

Despite knowing the direct way to the cemetery, Clara found herself driving around in endless circles. It was a nice day. The sun was bright. The sky was blue. The grass was green. It was too nice a day for this.

Through the rows upon rows of headstones she walked, a familiar path she had taken many times before. Stopping, she knelt down, laying the flowers atop the plaque, laying her hand on the engravings.

"Hey, uh, sorry, for not visiting, it's been...hectic, lately," she said, "I, um, I really wish you were here, Charlie. I miss you, and, I could use, some of that great advice of yours."

"Things, are, so complicated, right now, and I have no idea, what to do." She continued, "Bucky's alive, but, he doesn't have his memory, and, Steve and I, almost, I don't know. I don't know what I should do, or how to feel. I, just wish someone was here, that could, tell me what to do. Nobody really understands, except, Steve, but, I don't know what to do there either."

Even though she knew she'd never get a reply, but it was cathartic almost, to be able to spill her guts out. To reveal her inner turmoil, to someone, but to no one.

"Are you gonna visit my grave?"

Turning her head, she rose to stand, looking up at her old boss, "I think I've visited enough fake graves in my life." Clara sighed, "Besides, I can always just call you. Unless you're really going underground."

"I think you'll always be able to contact me."

"Do you know where they are?" Clara asked, "All of them. Is everyone okay?"

"Everyone's fine," Fury assured her, "And before you offer, no, I don't want you going to them."

"What? I can help them."

"They're fine. You're not." he said, "I'm putting you on leave until further notice. You need some time away from all of this. You can't ignore your problems and throw yourself into work."

Clearly Fury hadn't been paying attention, because that had been her game plan for most of her life.

"Take some time to yourself," he suggested, "You're not a SHIELD agent anymore. You free of all of it."

 _I wish_ , she thought to herself. She wasn't free from the shackles of her past, and she didn't think she ever would be.

"I've got something for you," she said, pulling out a piece of paper from her bag, "The names of any agent I suspect could possibly be Hydra."

"How did you do this?" He asked, taking the paper from her,

"I've had some spare time." Clara shrugged, "You know I used to do the pyschological assessment for SHIELD agents. I've had agents at risk flagged for years. Wasn't too difficult to compile a list of names." She explained, "Isn't my thoroughness and over preparedness the reason you put up with my all these years."

"One of them." He admitted, "I'm sorry, for pulling you back in, all those years ago. You were happy, and I took that away."

"I chose to come."

"You came because I said I needed you." He pointed out, "Not because you wanted to."

"When do I ever do something I don't want to?"

"Always." He replied, "Take a break, be selfish for awhile, might do you some good."

"Not likely."

Fury smirked as he turned, sparing her one last glance, before leaving her alone at the grave. But her solitude did not last long, as Steve approached her, hands stuffed in his pockets.

"Sorry, to interrupt, do you want to be alone?" He asked, "Because, I can leave."

"No, we've, I finished, what I was doing." She said, spotting the file in his hands, raising her eyebrow, "Did Natasha give you that?"

"Yeah."

"Are you going after him?"

"Will you help?" He asked, nervously, "You don't have to. I'm just offering."

"I...I don't know." Clara admitted, frowning at her own confusion, "I, I don't think I can do that right now. But, keep me updated."

"It'll probably be awhile, anyway," he shrugged, "What are you going to do?"

"I don't know." She confessed, letting out a laugh, "I have absolutely no plan, whatsoever. That's new."

"Is it good?"

"I haven't decided." She replied, "But I have awhile to figure it out."

"So, this is goodbye?"

"For now." She responded, opening up her arms, reaching them out to him. Slowly, he reciprocated, enveloping her in his arms, "Thank you."

"For?"

"Everything." She answered, pulling back, having reached the time limit of appropriate hugs, "I mean it. I know, that things are, complicated. But if you need anything, I'll be there. And I mean anything, I'm only a phone call away."

"Same goes for you."

"Well, goodbye, Steve Rogers."

"Goodbye, Clara Howard."

The walk back to he car was heart wrenching, every step a struggle, a constant battle to keep her composure. The drive back to her apartment was even worse. It was the first time she'd been back since the whole fiasco, and it was a mess. Hydra had ransacked it, leaving the furniture overturned, the contents of her wardrobe and cupboards strewn on the floor.

Clara didn't have the energy to clean up, besides, she wasn't planning on staying long, or coming back after she left. She'd pay someone to put the furniture in storage, take the clothes to another of her residences.

Start afresh. Maybe. If that was even possible.

Her carefully calculated composure finally started to crack, at the sight of her bedroom, or more specifically, the smashed glass of the photographs, knocked onto the floor. Leaning down, she picked up one of the frames. It was a picture of her and Bucky, taken on their wedding day. They were so young, and so in love. And now, he was alive, out there, alone. In possible danger. A possible danger.

Sliding down onto the floor, he back against the bed, knees curled up against her chest, she clung to the photograph. And, for the first time in a long time, allowed the tears to freely fall.

* * *

 **A bit of a downer ending, but that was to be expected. The next instalment will be up soon, and I'll post another chapter to announce it.**

 **I hope you all enjoyed the story, please review and tell me what you think, as well as what you hope to see next.**

 **Also, don't forget you can vote on my poll, you can find it on my profile.**


	9. Chapter 9

I've just posted the next story, it's called An Old Friend. It's only short, and bridges the gap between Winter Soldier and Age of Ultron, but is very important for character development. Hope you all check it out.


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